Is Justin Bieber really a wizard?  

Posted by Shawn Thomas Odyssey


Is Justin Bieber really a wizard?

As the Curious Blog is dedicated to all things mysterious in nature, I would find it difficult to ignore the mysterious phenomenon that is Bieber-mania. What powerful spells does he wield to gain such enormous notoriety? Did he attend a traditional magical school, or is he self-taught? How many faerie servants does he command, and do they use enchanted potions to fix his hair, or is it simple store-bought product? Does he traffic with vampires and werewolves, and how does he feel about inter-species marriages? If Bieber is indeed a practitioner of magic, he would not be the first to acquire fame through mystical means.

In 1962, a wizard by the name of Belford Berkshire—the owner of a teashop in Liverpool, England—was ironing out the kinks in his very own “Elixir of Notoriety” in a vain attempt to become the most famous wizard of all time. Did he succeed? Well, have you ever heard of Belford Berkshire? I did not think so. Something went amiss, though I can assure you it was not with his potion making abilities.

Truth be told, Belford Berkshire was a brilliant magician who had been tinkering with his elixir for nearly forty years. The problem was this. One stormy afternoon, Mr. Berkshire entered his teashop by way of the back door. He and his wife, Mrs. Emily Berkshire, lived in a small apartment above the workroom at the back of the shop. Mr. Berkshire was running late on this particular day because of a breakthrough he had experienced with his potion the previous night. He had been up until dawn.

To his great irritation, Mr. Berkshire discovered that when he entered the workroom that afternoon, the potion was nowhere to be found. When he questioned his wife about the missing bottle, he learned that she had mistakenly sold the elixir to a group of young men who had entered the shop that very morning feeling slightly under the weather. They had explained that they were scheduled to play music that night in a local club, and hoped that the shop would have something to sooth their sore throats. Horrified that his wife had mistakenly sold the elixir to the young men, Mr. Berkshire asked if she had at least managed to get the young men’s names, so that he might track them down.

“I don’t rightly remember,” his wife replied. “Oh, but they had terrible hair cuts, all four of them, like someone had placed a bowl on top of their heads. Said they was just in from a tour in Hamburg, or some such awful place. ‘What kind of music do you play in Hamburg?’ I asked. And they replied: ‘Rock and Roll.’ And I said that sounded dreadful. Come to think of it, I don’t remember their names, but I do remember the name of the band. Oh, yes. Couldn’t forget it. Just as bad as their hair cuts.”

“What was it?” cried Mr. Berkshire.

“The Beatles,” his wife said, pinching her lips as if the name left a sour taste in her mouth. “Horrible name. They was nice enough, I’ll grant you that, but not a chance in the world they’ll last. No sir, not looking like that!”

Berkshire put out the word, asking if anyone had seen the four strange looking young men with bowl haircuts, and it wasn’t until that evening that he finally tracked them down in the night club where they were playing. But it was too late. The young men had already drunk all the elixir (some more than others, and I’ll leave it to my readers to guess which of them drank the most) and were already on stage playing their loud Rock and Roll music. Needless to say, Radcliff Berkshire and his wife, along with everyone in the club that night, were immediately hooked, and became life long fans. The music was simply magic!



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This entry was posted on Sunday, June 13 at Sunday, June 13, 2010 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

1 comments

It all makes sense now! As an avid Beatle-maniac I was definitely under their spell.

June 16, 2010 at 5:51 PM

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