Interview With The Wizard  

Posted by Shawn Thomas Odyssey in

I thought this might be of interest. From Kobold’s anthology: Interviews With Magical People and Peculiar Things. Revered for his astonishing ability to converse with inanimate objects, the book, though sadly out of print, is a true classic, and has been an extremely useful asset in my own research into magical phenomenon, and more specifically The Curious World of Dark Street. No doubt many of you are familiar with Kobold’s famous—dare I say, infamous—“Interview with the enchanted privy,” and the equally fascinating “Interview with King Charles’s cantankerous wooden duck.” Here is a portion of a lesser-known interview (though no less fascinating) only available in the original hand-printed 1683 illuminated edition. An interview with Armond Applebee (the Wizard of Dark Street, 1623-1671).

Kobold: What is magic?

Wizard: Have you ever heard of the concept of “wood and glass?”

Kobold: No.

Wizard: No, and why should you have? It is not a philosophy of this world, but I will share it with you. It goes like this. You have a piece of wood. It doesn’t matter what kind of wood; it could be birch, or pine, or oak, or anything really. Let’s say you hold this piece of oak in hand, and in your other you hold a piece of glass. It is dulled at the edges so you don’t have to worry about cutting yourself. Now you have wood, and you have glass…but there is also a third. You have wood here, and you have glass here, and what else?

Kobold: I don’t understand. All you said was wood and glass.

Wizard: Yes, but the third does not need to be stated, because it simply is there. Even in your imagination it is there. It is a law of the universe. You just don’t tend to recognize it, and that is fine because you are not a wizard. But a wizard would see instantly the third, and would recognize it as the essence of their profession. I’ll give you a clue. Take that piece of wood and place it on the piece of glass. The third is gone, is it not?

Kobold: If you say so.

Wizard: I do not need to say so, because it simply is so, and you saw it go. Not only did it go, but it was wiped out of existence completely—impossible to exist because of the laws of the universe. These are the hidden laws that we wizards study. Wood, and glass, and the third. It’s very simple, really, like a child’s riddle; only superbly profound when applied to the learned disciplines of the divine arts.

Kobold: I still don’t see it.

Wizard: You don’t see it because it can’t be seen. It is, point in fact, nothing. It is the space in between. That which pulls and repels everything. Once the wood is placed on top of the glass, the space between ceases to exist, yes? Think on the space between the beats of a drumhead. One could argue that the spaces between the beats do not actually exist, and that only the beats do, but this is folly. And yet it is truth at the same time. Magic is nothing if not paradoxical. For one to exist, the other must exist as well, otherwise there is no beat at all. The same with wood, and glass, and the third. It is this third that we wizards study with such great fervor, and it is from that paradox that we draw forth that which is nonexistent into existence.

Kobold: I believe I had better luck understanding the wooden duck.

Wizard: Pardon?

Kobold: I…uh…asked, what is your greatest accomplishment?

Wizard: Ah, that would have to be the invention of cinnamon chewing gum.

Kobold: Chewing what?

Wizard: Gum. From the mystical Chicle Tree. You just wait and see. One of these days it’s really going to catch on.

Kobold: I…ah…meant magical accomplishment.

Wizard: So did I. How else would you get cinnamon in there?

This entry was posted on Monday, May 17 at Monday, May 17, 2010 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


Great post! Thought provoking in a,well, magical way! Looking forward to more posts on the Curious Blog.

May 18, 2010 at 3:33 PM

I loved this! So much fun to read. I can tell I'm going to enjoy your book when it comes out!

May 31, 2010 at 8:34 AM

Very funny and clever. You've inspired me to do a character posting or two myself. I also write MG/YA Fantasy, but about demons, fae, elves, mythology and such. Of course majik is part of the mix as it on Earth in our own lives -- it's just that most don't know it's there. wink wink I'd love you to come see my site/blog and check out my story. I'll be published in Spring 2011 by Muse It Up Pub.

June 2, 2010 at 5:10 AM

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